Sex should feel good
Everybody enjoys different things when it comes to sexual activity. Do not assume everyone will like the same thing.
Some people like:
- lots of kissing and touching
- different kinds of sexual activity
- some parts of their bodies touched, but not others
- different kinds of touch
It is important to take your time and get to know each other’s body. Here are some tips:
- take things slowly as you get to know each other
- get to know each other’s likes and dislikes
- communicate with each other and make sure you are both happy and comfortable
Everyone experiences sex in different ways and that is okay. Some people have orgasms during sex, some do not and that is okay too. Everyone is different.
Remember if it does not feel good, or you decide you do not want to do something sexual at any time, the other person must stop when you tell them to because you are no longer consenting to sexual activity. Read more about consent.
Pleasure and orgasms
When people have sex, they might have an orgasm. Sometimes an orgasm is called ‘coming’.
An orgasm is a strong feeling of pleasure in your body, mainly in your genitals such as your vagina, penis, or clitoris. When a man or someone with a penis orgasms, semen (a white liquid) comes out of the penis. This is also called ejaculation.
Not everyone has orgasms through sex with others. Sex can still feel good without orgasms.
You can also have an orgasm without a partner. Some people orgasm when they masturbate (sometimes called touching yourself). Some people masturbate because it feels good. It can also be a way to learn about your own body, sexual feelings, and what you like.
Preventing sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
There is a risk of getting sexually transmitted infections (often called STIs) from having penetrative sex (penis in the vagina or anus) or oral sex. Oral sex is when partners use their mouths, lips or tongues to touch each other’s penis or vulva.
If you are having penetrative penis in vagina sex there is also a risk of pregnancy.
Go to get STI’s testing and get contraception (which prevents pregnancy) for more information.
Want more information about sex and relationships
Whether it’s your first time, or your hundred-and-first, sex should be something that you enjoy and can have safely. Brook explains more about sex.
LGBT Youth Scotland have written a range of inclusive and positive guides to sex and relationships. Here are the links to download each guide:
Good sex is…for women who have sex with women